We shall receive him well, take him to makeup artists who will chop off his beard and make his face brown with Copper Girl, plait his hair with Brazilian extensions, get him a big black lace power-bra stuffed with cotton, lend him a kitengi three-piece dress, and then smuggle him into Kenya on a bodaboda motorbike passing through those Usofia panya routes where uniformed soldiers eat bribes that allow people through the porous borders.